Even If

“Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:30, 31)

Hello, my friend…

Today my soul is weary. I didn’t used to understand that statement, but now I do. I have grown tired. Tired of the charade of life. Tired of trying to be strong for everyone. Tired of trying to figure it all out. Tired of fighting an uphill battle with no end in sight. Tired of battling unseen demons in my mind. Tired of explaining myself. Just tired.

In years past older family members and friends would sit and stare off into space while muttering those very words and I just didn’t get it. Why be tired? There is so much life to be lived! So many places to go and people to see. So many adventures to be had. So much thrill to living and experiencing everything around us! Life was (and is) an exhilerating thing to be, well, lived. These once-vibrant, strong, heroes of mine would sit dejectedly and mourn their very existance. Their eyes were dim, their bodies hunched over, and the fires that once burned brighly in their hearts had become smouldering ashes.

How could this be? I felt like Job’s friends who came to share his misery with him, yet found themselves eventually condemning him. They started out well, sitting with him silently for a few days, listening to his weeping comments. All too soon, however, they began to pick him apart. Oh look, one said, at the proud lion of a man who now sits as a wounded dog. Remember, another piped up, how proud you once were – walking around like a prince or a king? Now you are nothing – a nobody. What happened to the great swelling words of advice you used to spew out to others? Instead of comfort and godly wisdom, they were using this time to say the things they never would have said if Job had been his old self. Job serves as a reminder to all of us that we are not exempt from the battles and unanswered questions we encounter along the way.

Thank God for including these passages in scripture for all of us to read and meditate upon. We can get so caught up in the sunshine and flowers of the good days, the days when our coffee is just right, our finances are flowing easily, when our health is strong, and God is answering our prayers that we forget the rain falls on the just and the unjust alike. I don’t know about you, but I have found the most challenging battles are the unseen ones – the ones that sneak up on you unannounced – that don’t announce their arrival, that don’t have a face or a shape, that undermine silently. Before you even know there is a problem, it has swallowed you whole and you find yourself in a pit. Praise God for sharing with us the pit times in the lives of His people! It is from reading those passages that we can draw strength and encouragement that we can (and will, if we choose) win.

If you find yourself in one of those pits today, let me remind you of a few of those God has chosen to show us the way. I think of Noah, who spent 120 years building an ark to save his family (and those who chose to hear his message), yet escaped only with his own family. I think of Abraham and Sarah, who waited their entire lives for the realization of God’s promise to them of a child. I think of Daniel, who did nothing wrong in God’s eyes, yet found himself thrown into the den of lions. I think of Paul and Silas who, for preaching the gospel, found themselves arrested, bound, and chained in a dark prison cell. I also think of the Apostle John who was boiled alive in a giant pot of oil for his testimony that angered the king. I could name others, but I’ll leave that for you to search on your own.

Each of these men (and women) of God found themselves under the heel of Satan for their obedience to God. Each of them suffered great distress, each of them endured despite the interminable silence of God. They continued to cling to their faith in the Great Unseen One, although in the natural it seemed foolish. In the end, each one received the victor’s crown for their faithfulness. I remember the words of David, who wrote, “Why are you downcast, oh my soul? Hope thou in God.” I recently went to the movies and watched “I Can Only Imagine 2” at the theater. It is an awesome movie, by the way! In one scene, however, I found myself openly sobbing as one of the characters told how he was diagnosed with cancer. His answer struck a deep chord within me when he confessed that he would continue on – even if God didn’t answer his prayer for healing. Even if. Two of the most powerful words I have ever heard.

As I sit here today talking to you, I can finally confess that I am on the backside of this trial period. Did I win? The only standard I can use to measure is the standard Paul established when he told believers, “...having done all to stand, stand therefore.” I am happy to say that I am still standing. A little sore from the struggle, VERY weary from the battle, bruised and battered – to be sure – but still standing. Those two little words spoken in a dark movie theater were the turning point for me. To the writer of the movie script, they may have just been good copy. But to me, they were a lifesaver. Even if.

Today, my friends, I have heard from some of you. I know of some of your struggles and can only offer to pray with you and offer words of comfort and hope. God never gives us the timeline for our answers, but He does promise that we can win if we remain in Him. In the darkest hours, in the heaviest fighting, in the deepest sorrow, it is easy to want to throw in the towel and give up. I get it. But God offers us His strength for our weakness, His joy for our sorrow, His victory for our defeats. They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings as an eagle. They shall run and not grow weary, they shall walk and not faint. As the songwriter so eloquently ended the song, let us say it together, “Teach me, Lord, teach me, Lord to wait.” The answer is on the way. He has heard your cries. He has looked down and seen your pain. Just a little bit longer and all will be settled – in your favor. Remain in Him.

Be blessed.