FOR THOSE PTSD BROTHERS & SISTERS

I deal with this EVERY DAY with my veteran brothers & sisters, and SO many others in counsel…& yes, I know, it can be debilitating…triggers, micro-aggressions, nonsense bull crap, stuff….tons of junk in your attic…life stuff.  I’ve learned a few things over time , study and deep analysis.

One, take responsibility for the part YOU play in the scenario.  You can’t play the blame game as that is the weakness that you most despise.  Blaming everything or everyone that YOU can properly handle once you peal the onion back is just wrong.  Victimology is a therapeutic frailty.

Secondly, I have found that I need to take my time in my triggers as not to harm anyone else psychologically or unintentionally even when I want to charge through a wall or even rob a train on horseback—although that would be fun and I think I have a stack of warriors that would go with me.  Interestingly, in my most intense moments of rage, drama, or friction, I have learned to be the most calm man in the room.  Quite frankly, I enjoy going a little nuts over people who don’t use turn signals, stop at stop signs, and all of the smooth-brains on social media who post stupid things and when confronted run away….irritating passive aggressive people and boring.

Third, I have found with me that I have so little tolerance for weakness or wounded behavior…I love my wife for her toughness & get this, he lack of tolerance.  She is tough, and exactly what God gave me…I am grateful.  I am very direct—no passive aggressive here, and she goes right back at me in the most abrupt and direct fashion.  No weak women apply here.  If you want to sit in weakness, frailty, and victimology—I have no time for you.  Die on that hill.  I will live to fight another day.

Fourth, I may not agree with your experience but I won’t discredit it.  For example, I had a female military member that had been sexually assaulted 8 times and wanted a service dog just for comfort and protection, I agreed with her…I had a senior officer tell me that she just wanted the dog as a “badge of honor.”  This lit me off.  As a man, I really don’t know that sense of vulnerability…it is nature and I would never get it, but I sure as heck was smart enough to fight for it, and her.

Fifth—you gotta find your space…YOUR SPACE…gym, music, art, hobbies, and faith (which I am obviously very drawn to as psychologically you have a better chance at survival).  And you have to allow your brothers & sisters that space as you relish your own.  When someone crushes or intrudes on that space, you need to stand your ground.

Sixth—find YOUR truth and hold onto it desperately in your thought, word, and deed.  No double-speak or double-thought as it will throw everything into chaos.  For example, and for me, my speech is grounded in my faith & Scripture…if I have a personal opinion, I will tell you as this is my Truth.  In that, it is virtually impossible to be double-minded as my mind is stayed on Jesus.

Seven—set boundaries.  WITH EVERYONE.  Remember, everyone has an agenda and the most passive aggressive and narcissistic are there in the assault ready to pounce.  NEVER allow anyone to cross your red-line.

Lastly, remind yourself of when you were young, riding your bike that you built from the junk-yard, down 8^th street, riding for the first time without your hands, holding onto nothing, feeling the wind in your hair, and you hit the one rock in the street that caused your entire front wheel to go sideways, and you skidded down the pavement on your face.  That very moment you picked your bike up, got on, rode it back home, washed up and then you got on the bike the very next day to ride and be free.  God doesn’t make sissies or toxic empaths.  He created us in His image.  God doesn’t make sissies.