SELF ASSESSMENT & MASCULINE GROWTH

Most men I know don’t have the ability to know themselves because their ego is too frail.  Same as with “almost Christians” and their relationship with God.  Yes, most men, and I would contend women as well are too afraid to look in the mirror, so this isn’t a gender-specific statement. 

         We all tend to get and stay busy with our lives.  Loud.  Distracted, especially in this age of the social media bombardment.  This causes a reaction rather than a freedom of choice.  When things go bad, we tend to blame God or others, yet rarely choose to acknowledge God or show gratitude to others when life is smooth.  We defy habits without critical thought or question, and we repeat the same stupidity over and over again for the sake of comfort thinking that is “what we inherently are.”

         When we analyze and learn why we react the way we do, then we need to think deeper and assess what we are trying to protect.  Is it power, control, ritual, religious denomination.  We relive a life of false and unverifiable ritual.  We simply switch our brain’s and emotion’s onto autopilot.

         When we self-assess with critical thought and realize that only God can be in control, we can no longer blame luck (good or bad) and can never confuse impulse for instinct.  We then cease to follow false, illogical, and phantom patterns that keep failing us because of ego.  We use pathos over logos because is more emotionally comforting.

         This requires quiet work, and it indeed is a lonely path.  It is truly uncomfortable as it strips it all away to finally find absolute clarity.  Once we become truly self-aware in our lives and faith in God, we stop being predictable to others who wish to place us in a box either through control, money, or religion.  If it can’t be predicted, it can’t be controlled and, only God owns our life story.

         I will readily admit this that honestly digging into oneself is not a peaceful experience, but it is freedom with weight on it.  I have lost everything so many times in my life except one thing—my faith and all of my hope in Jesus.  Each time I started over, I shifted and refined myself realizing that I am adding another unique chapter to my story.  I compare it to moving a ton throughout the years, building a new house, or refurbishing an old one and each move equated to a full house fire.  Each time, I implanted a piece or part of something I really liked and got rid of the little things that I hated.  Living in or with a house that is just not amenable to you, but you stay for others is very moral and always hopeful reasons, well, I would contend it is true pain and anguish.  I have learned and become comfortable with the premise that I cannot add days to my life, or even necessarily change others who own such a negative impact, but what I CAN do is add more and more life to my days.  I simply don’t save my love for another day, and I certainly don’t have the patience to wait until I am alive.  I rid myself of any contact with people whose character is to take and destroy.  I speak openly and honestly and always speak the words that others are afraid to say or keep inside because they care about what someone else may think rather than truth. 

         I’ve relinquished my pride to hold on dearly to my faith, hope in Jesus, and my God.  On my last day that God gives me on this earth, my thoughts will not be on the days or events that I simply remember, it will be the days that I actually felt alive.

         As a Christian conservative political Libertarian—only God will be the judge of my life and I am content in that.  I pay my taxes, give my all to the mission of the church, study, teach, and apply my all to everything I do—and I am unafraid to tell myself the hard truth.

         Through decades of counselings and relationship studies I have found that the vast majority of people don’t want the truth anymore.  As a matter of fact, people go on the offensive and attack me with random nonsense to deflect from their own brand of ugly.  I have found that what they want is validation and a false sense of moral superiority.  People want to hear that they are right and whatever happened to them is wrong and there is no requirement for introspection.  This is what fascinates me most, the moment that they look at themselves and see truth, it gets highly uncomfortable.

         Challenging the internal narrative takes heavy lifting and work—not comfortable as it changes the perceived story and it forces self-reflection.  Instead of introspection, there is a high desire to reject it, avoid it, and people will go so far as to label it as toxic.  That type of so-called validation keeps people exactly where they are and there is no shift in consciousness or deepening of faith.  Essentially, nothing is corrected, and it just makes people feel better about not changing.  The ways and trends of fashion slowly shifts the status quo of foundational faith and thought.  I intend to break that mold every day for the rest of my life.  No person or government will ever come between me and my faith in God.