TO THE MAN & WOMAN WHO FAILS

You know what?  I have failed more times I can count.  I’ve been kicked, beaten down, humiliated, spoken down to, cheated on, bruised, and bloodied.  So what?!  I was blessed with parents taught me about faith instead of government subsidies.  Granted, I rely plenty on my wife, mainly because I trust in her faith in God, but God ALWAYS comes first.  The key is every time I have been knocked down, I got up. In Russian, “stoyashchiy mooshzeek” or “chelovek” or “the standing man.”  NEVER a victim, just one who keeps getting up.  Trust me, I have been to hell and back, and so has my wife.  No whine, no victimology, just get up, brush yourself off and execute.  Trust me when I say, my wife is as jacked up as me.  And that jacked up is what makes her so magical.  Like me, she had NOTHING handed to her.  She picked up the charred remains of crap she didn’t even cause and just “woman’ed up”…she didn’t run away scared, she stood her ground and held her dirt.  She refused to walk through life with a hardened heart.  She is no coward.  She is a teaching moment for me every day.  She teaches me daily in her grit and resolve.  Pretty amazing and deeply loyal in mind, body, and spirit.

I think about what Jesus told us in Matthew 6:33: “But seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you.”  Let’s break that down, “…seek first the kingdom of God.”  My wife and I ACTIVELY…not a passive approach, we ACTIVELY seek what God wants in our marriage and our professional lives.  We pray together all of the time.  We know the codes on all of our electronic devices.  We come second. She comes first to me and I come first to her, and God is ALWAYS first in our lives.  The second one… “and His righteousness.”  His righteousness has NOTHING to do with my emotions, feelings, pain, or whatnot.  “His righteousness” in my life takes priority.  Now, the last part, “…all these things will be added to me,” NOT according to my will, but the will of God.

Like I’ve always said, I am the richest man in the world and want for nothing.  If I need food, I’ll kill it or grow it…pretty simple.  Twice a week, if not more, God’s mercy provides us with food, money, and clothing to give those in need…I do think Michelle steals some chocolate every once in a while thanks to my great Marine in the church who readily deals her chocolate behind my back!  Heck, I’m happy with peanut butter and jelly and Michelle makes me the best homemade cream corn on the planet.  Les makes me the BEST liver and onions from time to time to make me feel like a kid again…yeah, dad and I were the only two in the house to eat it as apparently people liked to donate liver to the poor old preacher…we never got filets for some reason.  I think I could live forever off of Theresa’s deviled eggs, Sher-Bear’s mac-n-cheese, and Freddy’s butter noodles.  Sometimes I just laugh to myself.  I was happy when we’d kill a camel or goat in Afghanistan and have a sinewy barbecue over the fire.  Again, “all these things will be added unto you.”

How we deal with failure defines us.  People who know nothing but affluence and success are sad to me as when the crap hits the fan, they buckle, bend, and sway.  The real people have scars and bruises, the best cars have dents, and the best houses creak and grown…but all can survive a tornado, earthquake, or hurricane.  I always go back to Romans 5:3-5 “ Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”  ALL of my hope is in Jesus.  Why?  Because He saved me and brought me through all of the suffering, taught me how to endure, took me from being a character to having great character, and gave me hope for tomorrow.

This is what is fascinating to me in my faith is that I always tried force it instead of acknowledging Genesis 2:18 “Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”  Moreover, I did not trust or rely on Psalm 37:4 “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”  Do you see the requirement or task in that verse?  “Delight yourself in the Lord” requires deep repentance, sacrifice of self, and submission to God’s will and not our own.

Men have trouble with submission, and in this day and age, women do as well.  Especially with God.  It is our free will and arrogance to think we can argue with God.  NOT how it works.  I encourage everyone to read your Bibles daily.  There is a VERY real fight on our hands now and in the future as Christians.  We can’t fight unless we are prepared for total war.  A little Clausewitz reference for those who read.  As always, read a book each week, EVEN if you disagree with the premise, you still have to know your enemy as Sun Tzu taught us, and never short sell your foe.  Have a healthy respect for the capabilities of evil and never allow your foe to chip away at your foundation of Godly virtue.  I prefer to be like the Polish King Sobieski at the battle of Vienna in 1683 who stopped the Islamic horde and saved Europe for all Christianity, the Reformation, and the greater enlightenment in what we enjoy in America today.  Try not to sit in stupid.

I fight three very distinct battles every day.  For the warriors with severe PTSD, we all know, NUMBER ONE, it is internal.  For me, my authenticity comes from my faith in God, and I have to admit, music grounds me.  I strongly recommend you find that source, and HIGHLY recommend a deep relationship with God.  You can never grow into your authentic self until you come to terms with God’s purpose in your life.

NUMBER TWO…the second I walk out the door, if I decide to even leave the safety of my confines, is everything outside that door.  It is all entropy out there.  This word means: a lack of order or predictability and a gradual decline into disorder.  Highly difficult and dysfunctional for the warrior mindset.  This requires us to lean in and make order out of chaos—that may or may not be possible and this just adds to the frustration.

NUMBER THREE…this third element is COMPLETELY out of our control and is institutional.  Government, church, acquaintances, what we see in media, etc., all are out of our control unless we participate in what God has ordained for us in our lives.  Satan wants to rule through division and control.  The absence of a God-centered adherence to His purpose and His natural design in our lives leaves us frustrated and vacant. 

I live my life as the most dangerous man in the room…I tell the truth.  Organizations and people fear and loathe me, because I tell the truth to power.  As Jesus commanded me, I take up my cross daily as Jesus directed in Matthew 16:24 and fear no retribution, crucifixion, or silencing.  I stay honest in every fight or arena that I venture into.  I stay in fact and not hyperbole…no emotional appeals…just fact.  Truth, order, and courage.  I choose to build my family, my community of believers…not in me, but in the facts that God presents to us, and my calling is the future for the believers and followers of Jesus.  I live with courage and forever will be “stoyashchiy mooshzeek” as I will ALWAYS get up and fight another day.  I always remind myself that Holy Spirit discernment will always make me the villain in the room where political correctness, virtue signaling, identity politics and denial is the culture…I’m good with that.

Men…let me go over Proverbs 31 with you once again… “She is far more precious than jewels”… “The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain”...This means she is no grifter… “She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong”…Tough enough to make me pee a little when she is ticked… “She opens her mouth with wisdom and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue”…the smartest chick I know on the planet…” Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”  Again men and ladies, read your boys and girls Proverbs 7 and 31.  I failed at this too many times…NOT this time.

Last point: Marcus Aurelius wrote about expectations and disappointment.  If I accept the fact that I will engage with self-absorbed, greedy, ungrateful, lazy, seriously ignorant & stupid, or any other non-noteworthy character trait, then I accept that, & am rarely disappointed.